dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
