we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
