hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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