So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
