your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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