I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
