You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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