No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
