Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
