Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
