its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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