He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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