If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
