I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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