i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
