He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
