my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
