I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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