in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
