i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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