Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
