Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
