I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
