I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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