You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
