its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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