i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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