"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
