Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
