I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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