it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
