i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I need to stop coming to work sober
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
