Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
what is it with giant penises always finding me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
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