Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
