i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
