Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Randomize
