My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Randomize
