why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just had sex on a roof
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
