yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
His nipple licking is glorious
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