Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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