What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
