If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
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