i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
