I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
