The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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