Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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