dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
