And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
