That's intense
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
