I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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