shes about as inviting as chlamydia
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
