after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i just made my gag reflex go away.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
