The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
