He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
